


When They Dance

by ForeverDoesntExist



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: M/M, POV Third Person, lol i tried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:27:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21726769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForeverDoesntExist/pseuds/ForeverDoesntExist
Summary: "My loneliness will never matter, as long as I know that you will never be alone again."A retelling of an important part of Yuzuru's path, as seen through an old friend's eyes.
Relationships: Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu
Comments: 20
Kudos: 70





	When They Dance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cornerstones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cornerstones/gifts).



> A short thingy for my buddy cornerstones, I hope you enjoy this :P It was a pain to write hahahah I'm never writing a 3rd person pov again in my life :P Note that this is written in a very... Dramatic way? You will understand in the end :) I hope :p

I always thought that I had it all figured out.

I thought I fully understood the true meaning of love.

Obviously, I knew that love was not something you could spell or explain, but rather something that you could feel. However, after all this time, I realized that that I actually knew nothing about it.

For so long, I always wanted to find some proof that it was real, that this thing actually existed. I looked for some evidence that I could touch and say: "Ah! So this is what love is!"

I had been searching for the wrong thing all along, still, I think I finally found something that made me believe in it. Or in this case, someone.

I found someone that once looked a little lost. Someone that needed rescuing, someone that I knew that would become my closest friend. So, I decided to befriend him and luckily he chose me as well.

His family had been quite alarmed when we got home that night, but Yuzu stood up for me and told his whole family that we were going to be best friends forever. My friend always keeps his word you see, because to this day we’re still together, and Yuzu still smiles whenever I greet him.

I still make him happy, and that’s enough for me.

That night had been the coldest one yet, and as my new friend shivered, I made sure to be as close as possible to him as I could. Why were all these people here? Was this Yuzu’s home?

A few days later I found out that it wasn’t, and to this day I still remember his words to me during those cold nights, a plea from someone that had lost everything and had no will to go on anymore, “Will you believe in me?”

I smiled at him and tried to renew some of the hope that had been lost. I made sure that one day Yuzu would finally smile again, and face the brilliant future that I knew he had in front of him.

Now that I think about it, I don’t really remember when we met exactly, Yuzu once told me that it has been years. How many? I don’t remember but that is not important. Silly, old me.

People always asked him about me, you know? But he likes to keep our relationship a secret.

I don’t blame him, no one would believe him anyway.

And that’s how I thought that this was the only love that there was. For I knew that I loved this boy dearly, and with everything that I had. So there couldn’t be any other kind, right? 

Our lives changed drastically after a few years. Out of a sudden Yuzu asked me if I would be willing to move with him, to a place that I had never heard about before. Of course, I agreed and together we went on to another adventure. 

Sometimes we must leave comfort to find our paths. Yuzu's case was no exception, I just hate that Yuzu had to get hurt in order to grow, and this time a smile had never seemed to be either enough or helpful. For every tear that my friend had shed, I felt completely useless and not worthy of his friendship.

What use was I, when I couldn’t even wipe his tears?

But I got carried away, my apologies.

It’s been…hours? I believe that’s what it is, since Yuzu told me to wait for him here, but he is not ready to leave the ice yet. I understand, as always, so I just sit here while he twirls around and tries to jump higher and higher.

Sometimes I get really scared, but Yuzu always tells me that it’s going to be okay.

“I won’t get hurt, I promise.”

I think that’s the only promise my friend has broken in all this time. More than once.

When we are alone and I look at him, a bit worried a bit uneasy, he tells me it doesn’t hurt anymore. That it will get better soon.

He tries to force a smile for me, so I just smile back. That’s all I can do.

Yuzu tells me that it’s not good to think of the past or hold grudges, but I can’t help but feel a bit worried when I see the man had caused my friend so much pain before.

His name is Javier Fernandez and seven years later, I still don’t know how I should feel about him. Sometimes I wish Yuzu had never met him, but then again, Yuzu had been the happiest whenever he was by his side.

Through time I had felt thankful, for every kind word and gesture, for every encouragement that Javier had thrown Yuzu’s way, when we were new to everyone and everything. Thanks to him, we took no time settling in, even though Yuzu had predicted the worst, it all turned out very differently from what we expected.

But then things changed.

Sometimes I managed to understand and read between the lines of many late conversations between Yuzu and Javier. It became obvious how much they cared about each other.

I really thought I had it all figured out. Yuzu had obviously made a new friend.

Except it wasn’t that kind of love that I had discovered before. It was different.

It was the kind of love that made you dance and sing, and make your heart go crazy whenever you saw that special someone. I started noticing that the hugs lasted for too long, Javier’s hands lingered for too long and comfortably on Yuzu’s waist and sometimes the looks exchanged back and forth meant more than friendly feelings.

I had never seen it before, but after hearing my friend every night and watching the two in the day, I knew that it had an obvious outcome.

Yuzu would say that he liked Javier, like on those sappy movies that we had watched countless times before, Javier would say that he liked him too and they would live happily ever after. Sometimes in those movies, people even had children with them in the end, so perhaps Yuzu and Javier would get some of those and I could play with them and be their friend as well.

I knew Javier was the right choice, because everyone knew my friend had always been the happiest whenever he received the shiny gold disks but what people didn’t know was that he was even happier, when he spotted Javier in the morning and just threw himself at him every day. That wasn’t a smile of a job well done, that was a smile of someone that had found their reason to smile in the first place.

My prayers weren’t answered.

Because one day, Yuzu hugged me really tight and told me he had been too late. What did that even mean?

That had been odd. Yuzuru was never late, he liked to be on time for everything and despised people that didn't bother with the concept of punctuality. Still, I don't think Brian or Tracy would have made him cry just because he had been late just one time.

Right?

So I just waited for him to calm down and tell me everything, I smiled at him encouragingly and hoped he would tell me what had happened. From what I managed to get between hiccups and miserable wails, Yuzuru had finally gathered the courage to confess, but Javier already loved someone else?

It didn't make sense.

None at all.

People that loved each other were supposed to be together. In the movies, people always ended up together. Why would it be any other way?

I remember being mad at Javier, mad at the whole world for making my friend cry. Yuzu showed me a picture of the person that Javier loved and with a fake smile, he told me she was beautiful and looked perfect next to him. He told me he was happy for them and wished them all the best.

I didn't believe any of it.

Neither of us slept much that night. Sometimes people make dumb choices when the answer is very simple. Yet, as I watched Yuzuru keep his distance from the man he had loved for years, I understood that love is taking a few steps backward maybe even more, to give way to the happiness of the person you love.

Time went on its normal course and once again I learned new things, like how time seemed to heal some wounds and how easily people hid their pain inside themselves, just for the sake of others. Our days fell back into the usual routine and yet I knew our happy days were bound to end.

Those days were the happiest in forever, Yuzu was getting better and better and we won many shiny round coins. I wish we could go back to those times, when everything looked easy even though it wasn’t.

I had been selfish. Now I know.

One day, I overheard Javier talking to Brian and Tracy, their words exchanged in hushed whispers and my curiosity won over. They wouldn't mind, right? My hearing wasn't the best anymore, but I was pretty sure Javier was saying something about leaving the club and going home for good after something I didn’t understand.

He would tell Yuzu, right? They told each other everything after all. He wouldn't hide something like this from him, right?

Turns out, he did.

It was late, and darkness seemed to swallow our room when Yuzu arrived and dropped to the ground, sliding against the closed door behind him.

I was scared.

Yuzuru had won this big thing and yet he looked completely defeated, his face wet and tears falling one after another. What could have possibly happened?

"He's leaving." He whispered.

"He's leaving me". Yuzu repeated to me, hearing him scream like that frightened me, but I had to stay strong for my friend.

Javier had never told Yuzuru. He had had all the time in the world and still, he waited...for what?

Yuzu had won gold, but it had felt like he had lost his entire world on the same night.

He didn't stay in Korea for long and so we departed for Japan within days, I figured he wanted to be by his family side. Yuzu told everyone that he couldn't wait to be back in Toronto, yet I knew better.

For once I felt lost, I knew my friend would need time to heal. Again.

How do you get over the fact that you had been left behind, though?

I didn't know and judging by the sleepless nights that followed our arrival at the club, Yuzu didn't know either.

I wished I could hate Javier, yet something always stopped me from doing so. I felt like I was betraying my friend, but something in the back of my mind told me to have hope. I missed his goofy jokes and the way he made us laugh every time we felt like giving up, but above all else, I missed the way he would make Yuzu step out of dark places whenever he seemed to get lost inside his own mind.

Javier seemed to be able to understand Yuzu to a degree still impossible for me to reach.

Turns out, Javier came back to the club a few days ago. Yuzu had told me why, but I really hadn’t understood. Why was he back?

Yuzu was doing some laps on his own, clearly avoiding his former training mate when Javier suddenly started dancing to the music playing in the background.

As expected, Yuzu stopped his routine and stood by the sides, smiling at the silliness of it all. The second Javier extended his hand to him and signaled for him to come closer, I knew Yuzuru would just take it and join him.

From my place, by the wooden benches, I wanted to shout, I wanted to get Yuzu away from him.

He had done enough once.

The place was completely empty except for the three of us, and all of a sudden the music stopped, Yuzu was now with his arms crossed in front of him and an angry frown all over his face.

What was happening?

Javier made wild gestures with his hands, and the volume of their conversation seemed to rapidly escalate.

“You can’t just say that.”

“I’m sorry, I made a mistake.”

And just like that, Javier hand sunk to his knees right there in the middle of the rink. Why was he doing that?

Yuzu was apparently taken aback by the gesture and asked him to get up, Javier didn’t move and his face was suspiciously shiny under the rink’s lights.

Neither of them said a word for a while, till Yuzu broke the silence, a few tears escaping his own eyes.

“You will leave again.”

“Yes, but my heart is staying here.”

That had been enough for Yuzu to kneel down and throw himself into his arms, ready to catch him. Like they always had been.

And I understood that maybe, Javier had come back for what he had left behind.

* * *

Yuzuru slides back to me and pets my head, adjusting my ears. I hadn’t noticed they had dropped again.

“Sorry, were you lonely?”

Yes. I want to say, but it doesn’t matter.

Javier shakes my chubby paw and tells me, “Thank you for taking care of him, while I was away.”

His grateful words made my stuffed insides warm. Perhaps I could still give him a chance.

Silently, I watch the way Javier doesn’t seem to be able to let go of Yuzu, one hand always trying to get hold of Yuzu’s tiny one in his, as Yuzu tries to take off his boots, earning him a small smack on his head. Javier seems to whine at the attack and Yuzu looks around, before leaning closer and kissing his cheek in some form of apology.

Now I know that my loneliness will never matter, as long as I know that you will never be alone again.

And that’s enough for me.

Because unlike Christopher Robin, perhaps this was not a story about a boy needed to be found, it was actually about two boys that needed to find each other.

And someday I might leave and find another adventure, another boy that needs me, but right now, all I can think about is how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

Because sometimes, you can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you.

You have to go to them.

_“Piglet: How do you spell ‘love’?_

_Pooh: “You don’t spell it…you feel it.”_

**\- A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh**

_“For I am a bear of very little brain, and long words bother me.”_

**\- A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh**

_“Love is taking a few steps backward maybe even more…to give way to the happiness of the person you love.”_

**\- A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh**

_“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”_

**\- A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh**

_“You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”_

**\- A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh**

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you got all the references from those quotes and forgive my non-existent writing skills loool I like to imagine Pooh as something innocent, hence why sometimes he doesn't seem very conscious of reality :)
> 
> And please pleeeeease, the biggest shout out for MsDaring, that drew this amazing masterpiece! She's amazing and I thank my lucky stars to have met such an amazing human ❤️ Thank you so much, I love you!


End file.
